One thing prevents women from achieving gender wage equality: they take forever to use the bathroom. All that time spent waiting in line and sitting on the can is time that could be spent climbing the corporate ladder! HerBusiness solves gender inequality by offering an app that cuts women’s bathroom time in half.
When a woman leaves the stall, we teach her to open the door while simultaneously stretching one foot backward to hit the flush. (This is one of our patented Toilet Yoga™ poses.)
The greatest inefficiency comes from the time spent between sitting and initiating excretion. It’s stressful for a woman to start. So we guide her through breathing exercises that unblock her chakras.
We demonstrate to women that when she enters the stall, she should already be picking up some toilet paper in preparation for the eventual wipe.
We allow women to chat and network with any woman who happens to also be sitting on the can at the same time. They can use the app to gossip about the Bachelor and Cosmo, or coordinate Toilet Yoga™ poses in real time.
CTO
Inventor of the Women's "Stand While Peeing" Funnel™
CEO
Ex-founder of a women's fertility startup
COO
Has 3 Sisters
Initially, I was skeptical. I thought it was unfair for me to pay for an app the majority of our workforce couldn’t use. But then they told me about their Big Data! These guys can tell us when the women are on their periods—which means we know when they’re PMSing!
Knowing whether a female employee is PMSing supercharges my ability to assess her. A woman doesn’t grab a beer with the boys while on her period? Legitimate excuse. The same woman cries about the performance review while not on her period? She’s probably pregnant.
